I’ve dabbled with erotic hypnosis for many years, but never really had the time or opportunity to stick with it. Nikki Fatale was my initial introduction. Her voice and style was simply amazing. Hearing her say, “Sleep” and a snap would have me slipping down so easily, but like I said I was never able to consistently stay with it. After her I found the Warp My Mind site. Those files promised amazing sounding “curses” but were voiced by a man, which for me was not effective nor desired. Over the years since, I’ve discovered many, many different erotic hypnotists. Some I enjoyed their style but the content didn’t always match my kinks, or the opposite would be true. I have an embarrassingly large 185 GB collection of hypno MP3s and videos from various sources, the large majority I’ve never even listened to (I'm a bit of a virtual hoarder).
The past year was rough personally, so I got away from most of my online kinky fun. Stopped creating captioned photos. Didn’t write any stories. Didn’t even engage in one of my favorite fetishes, edging and denying myself. I was just cumming all willy nilly whenever. With the new year things are settling down and I’m feeling more myself again, so I’m making a serious, conscious effort. I've started creating a caption backlog so I can start posting again to my BDSMlr page. Trying to finish some of the stories I started and dropped for whatever reason and get them posted here and on Literotica (and get my backlog on there too). And of course the point of this journal, getting back into erotic hypnosis and really trying to train myself.
Almost exactly one year ago I came across a hypnotist on Reddit, I think, who goes by Lady Aurora. Her files were very short compared to others I've seen, so with shorter inductions than I was used to I questioned how effective it would be for me, but many of the files catered to my denial fetish so I gave them a try. I enjoyed them so much that when she created a website I signed up at the highest tier for several months. She also had a Discord server at the time that I joined, but didn't interact much, if at all. That's also around the time life went sideways, so while I was still a member and collecting available files, I had no time or desire to listen.
Around a week ago I was looking on Reddit and stumbled on Aurora's post titled Do you want your orgasms to be controlled... by a machine? Naturally, I was intrigued and found she created a new Discord server, so I joined. Thanks to some social anxiety issues, I'm not sure how well I'm fitting in, but seeing how others are conditioned and enjoying hypnosis it's encouraging me to give it another try. Another user is logging their journey, so I'm stealing that idea for myself. Starting off focusing on Aurora's files to keep a consistent voice/triggers in my head. Then plan to expand to Miss Lilith who also has many denial themes, a British accent, and uses many effects that I would normally find off-putting but for some reason really helps to bring me down. After that not sure if I'll explore further or not. Ideally I'd like to try a one-on-one live session, either in person or online, but the reality of that may not be feasible. For now, baby steps.
I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions and never do them, so the fact I started this on January 1st is pure coincidence. My notes and recollections for the first few days may be a little hazy. Wasn't planning on doing this at first. Then thought I should at least track the files and make note of which I liked and didn't so I could repeat the good and ignore the "bad." Then realized I should keep more detailed notes. All that means this first post will contain a lot of files, but the details may be lacking. My plan is to track my experiences daily, but post weekly.
That being said, here's week one of my journey! Should also note that there may be some spoilers for files I listen to. I'll do my best not to ruin them too much, but it's pretty hard to discuss my experience without explaining them sometimes.
Jan 1st
Sunday holiday. Watched the Eagles lay an egg and had a little time to myself. Started with Good Boy. Figured that's a good starter file that gives a trance trigger that's used in other files later. Anytime I hear "Good boy" I can feel a little smile form on my lips. Followed that immediately with Good Boys Get Afflicted which builds on the first one and adds an orgasm restriction that I need permission from someone. This works well with the Orgasm Donation Program I entered in Discord (every edging session where you don't orgasm you can donate and you can ask a bot permission to cum but must abide by it). After that I went into Pleasure Compulsion which associates pleasure when saying her name (while writing this, just discovered there's a no safeword version I should get). And finally I went to Good Boys Get Enslaved which again adds more to the Good Boy theme and reinforces the needing permission to orgasm. It's been a few days, so don't really remember how I felt or even how effective they were. Will most likely go back to these often as a base, unless I find some that are more appropriate.
Jan 2nd
Back to work, even though I work from home. Didn't have a chance to listen to any hypno, but I began catching up with a voice artist I was friendly with before life got in the way. She encouraged me to try writing scripts for voice artists and even record my own stuff (just a couple ramblefaps of me edging here and here, but it was a start), but unfortunately never got very far with it. She was also kind enough to voice a modified version of Cal's Curse for me, including a personalized one with my name. Something I need to get back to at some point. Wound up edging for a bit, asked the bot for permission and got it. In the moment was glad but afterwards disappointed. Maybe i need someone/something else to give me permission to ask?
Jan 3rd
The beauty of the shorter files is I can sneak some in during the day. A quick break at my desk. Went with Good Boy again to help reinforce the trance trigger. Later in the day tried Aurora Takes Your Agency. There is another file called Aurora on Agency that explains the listeners ability to still have control. Be able to wake on your own and resist suggestions. The one I listened to is the same file with an "evil" voice whispering throughout, essentially countermining everything the main voice is saying. At one point I'm to wake on my own, but the whispers told me not to so I obeyed and stayed under. Later she gave a suggestion I was supposed to resist to strip my clothes off, but the whisper voice told me to do it so I did. I was then brought back up and was in my desk chair completely nude. I remember doing everything, but often can't tell if I'm playing along or not. Am I obeying because I want to or because I want this to be working or is it simply working and I'm overthinking it, or maybe it's all the same thing?
Later that night I tried an edit I made a while back. I took a few of the Good Boy files and edited them together, making a longer induction essentially. It was a bad idea and waste of time. Wound up deleting it. Then went to Focus which is another file telling me I cannot orgasm without permission. The original file has an out, a safeword to end the denial, but I edited that out so the file I have no longer contains the safeword. Did I mention how much I enjoy tease and denial? Anyway, the thing that surprised me is the small fractionation in the file and how much I enjoyed it. Previously I was never a fan of it and tended to avoid it. In my head, I needed longer inductions to relax and go down and coming back up "broke the spell" for me. This time it was pretty effective and felt kind of amazing. Something I want to explore later. I then put on a Naughty Loops file that was discussed earlier in Discord. Aurora had someone listen as "punishment." I enjoyed the beginning and end of the file, but when the voices began overlapping it was a bit too much, and not in a fun way. Nothing bad, just sounded like nonsense with a few words coming through. I'll probably try it again some other time, but this time it was more annoying than anything else.
That night I had difficulty going to sleep. I was lying in bed and wide awake. Considered getting up and playing PlayStation but grabbed my headphones instead. I put on Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties asleepener version. This file gives a compulsion to edge and avoid orgasm with no safeword (noticing a theme with me?) and at the end has you go to sleep. The good news is it helped me fall asleep, the bad is the suggestion to have sexy dreams didn't take.
Jan 4th
During the day I looped Hypnotic Acceptance by Miss Lilith. It's a passive loop meant to strip away resistance to all sorts of hypnosis and suggestions. I was able to listen while I worked during the morning. Thought I'd have time in the afternoon for some more active listening, but work got hectic. Other companies blaming their problems on us and an incompetent tech brought something down. Was not a fun afternoon.
Recreational marijuana recently became legal in my state. I never used it before (I'm such a good boy!) so a month ago got some edibles (I loathe smoking in any form). So I had one to relax and after dinner decided to try some files while "under the influence." I played four back-to-back. Started with Open Wide, as Aurora that day on Discord mentioned it was one of her favorites. Don't recall much about it, probably need to try it again. Followed that with Good Boys Get Fractionated and holy shit was that fun! Think I'm now a fan of fractionation. Especially enjoyed when she counted up, never let me get fully up, and then sent me back down. Tempted to edit together a longer version. After that went back to Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties but the awakener version this time. When I came up I was pretty aroused and touching myself a bit. Before I got too carried away I put on Good Boys Get Enslaved. This time when I came up I couldn't resist touching and edging myself. I was still pretty fuzzy and got an alert from the Discord channel of a "nude flash" so checked it out. Someone posted an amazingly sexy vid of themselves which only helped to fuel my current state. I was eventually able to get myself under control and shared my experience there. Felt like that went over like a fart in church which was another factor in getting me to start this journal here. Overall, it was an amazing experience. I remember at one point going down, in my mind I pictured diving into water and going super deep. I can still visualize that a few days later. Something I may cling to anytime I go under now. Just typing that is making me a little fuzzy and aroused.
Jan 5th
I forgot Aurora has her own passive file, In the Background (Triple Voice). Gave it a listen once during work, then in the afternoon had time so went with Falling to Pieces Vol 1 - Pleasure Snaps. Not sure how deep I really went or how effective it was for me. It's supposed to provide pleasure when she snaps her fingers. Worked a little I think, but will need to try again. Also this is meant to be modular, but I listened to the full file which has an asleepener at the end after coming up. I simply stopped the file first, but will probably want to use a playlist or edit to remove to make things easier for me. Second file is the same modular format, Falling to Pieces Vol 3 - Trance & Awake. This one deals with fractionation and establishes, or in my case reinforced, the trance trigger but also adds an awake trigger. This one worked fairly well for me and my mind felt a little fuzzy for a few hours after. Can't believe I've been avoiding and missing out on fractionation all this time! Also thinking if there's a file I really want to work/stick for me I should "pre-game" with some fractionation and take advantage of some of the modular files she has. Lots to think about here.
Jan 6th
Didn't sleep well last night. That's the second time this week. Hoping it's not related and just one of those things. I woke up around 3 or 4 AM and was pretty horny so wound up edging myself for like a half hour. Never had much time during the day for anything. Stumbled across some hypno web games that seem interesting and found a good article on how to be a better subject.
Right before bed I took a little time and listened to Pleasure Reflection. Basically spent the entire file edging myself and denied at the end while I got to listen to Aurora orgasm instead, which definitely works for me since my favorite sound is a woman having an orgasm. I then put Objectified Slave on a loop. I liked the idea of listening to that as I go to sleep, but unfortunately it's impractical with my bulky noise cancelling headphones. I have some in-ear ones, but feel like seeping in them is a bad idea. Maybe I'll see if there's a better option. Also wondering if pre-gaming with another file and then going to this in a playlist to loop would be interesting. More things to ponder. So after like three or four loops, I went back to Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties asleepener version. Once again it helped me drift to sleep. Still no fun dreams I can remember. Also I'm hazy if I woke in the middle of the night again and edged some more, but I definitely did this morning. My last orgasm was on the 2nd and I've "donated" six since then (total is eight donations to one ask and granted permission). Should probably be feeling it a bit more than I am, but could just be how busy I've been.
Jan 7th
Like I said, I woke up hard so edged for a bit. Had some things to do this morning, so while I went a little longer than I should have, I did manage to pull myself away. Later on I had some time and went with Relaxation Induction. The name is accurate. Don't really remember much from the file. Sometimes I'm not sure if I actually fall asleep or my mind drifts away and I'm no longer paying attention or I'm just truly in a trance state, but I came back right when she counted me up so I'm thinking it's the last of the three. After that I went to Hypnovirus, with the thought I'd work towards Hypnovirus Amnesia, which makes you forget what an orgasm is and you think an edge is an orgasm. But baby steps. So Hypnovirus worked very well. In it I inhale the "virus" and then she touches me and brings me to the edge, closer and closer, and then denies me and counts me up. What's crazy is I really felt like I was on edge and if she commanded me to cum I would have. I've never chased an HFO (hands free orgasm) like others I've seen online. I've tried a few in the past and they've never really done much for me, but I also wasn't training as much for them either. This is definitely the closest I've felt under trance, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) I was denied so we'll never know. Once the file was done I was crazy horny and began touching myself, but apparently the file wasn't done. Another session began. I figured what the hell, and went with it, not knowing what this would entail. Well I'll never know, I went under and then it stopped. This isn't something I edited, so I guess an old version of the file had a bad edit or something? I'll need to download it again since it's free and compare. Took me a few minutes to bring myself up and by then FedEx dropped something off, making the dogs go nuts, so playtime was over.
Right before bed, I setup a playlist of the entire Control Series and then Sexy Dreams. Control is five files, all relatively short. I remember the first one, two through four only the induction and wakeups, and five I remember. It was pretty late so again unsure if I was actually asleep or trance asleep, but thinking the latter. Sexy Dreams is what you'd think, but once again I don't recall having any fun, sexy dreams. Also once again I didn't sleep very well, so starting to worry this is affecting my sleep negatively. Might need to cut back and see or refrain from listening right before bed. Could all be coincidence as I've had bouts of inconsistent sleep before, but I feel like since I started this the only night I slept really well was when I had the edible. I'll have to continue to monitor and see.
That's week one. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I like writing it. See you next week!
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