Hypnosis/Kinky Journal March

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Hypnosis Journal Feb 26th to Mar 4th

Feb 26th
After some yardwork, a shower, and lunch I finished up last week's post and edged for a short while before putting on a file. I listened to Deeper which has a temporary trance trigger and does some light fractionation. It was enjoyable, though she adds some echo effects when saying "deep" and it reminds me of an old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. I like the effect, but my mind works in funny ways sometimes.

Followed it with Tick Tock Time and I don't know why I haven't tried this one sooner. At the end she tells me to forget the trance and now I'm actually having a hard time describing it. A ticking clock, some fractionation to bring me down. I said something out loud. I feel like I could remember it, but just won't. It's almost like trying to recall a dream that's slowly fading away. Planning to come back to this one again.

Before bed I listened to The Door which I had been saving until I was better trained. In fact I'll still probably wait before moving on and listen to this several more times. Essentially, it creates a room in my mind that I won't have access to and later files will take advantage of that fact. This just sets it up. There are three other files that will take advantage of this, each one increasing from SFW, NSFW, and evil suggestions. I only have the SFW one for now, but if this goes well will be purchasing the others. But as always, baby steps. I definitely did not go to sleep during the file, but may have lost focus? Not sure, but feel like I zoned out somewhere in the middle.

After that I played Pleasure Reflection which was pretty intense after a week of denial. Spent twenty minutes stroking and edging during the file while she is also touching herself and we have the pleasure reflect to each other and build. At the end I come up and listen to her orgasm while I stay denied. Kept edging for awhile afterwards and eventually stopped and went to sleep. Also there is a safety in this file that I'm going to remove.

Feb 27th
I finally started reading Mind Play late last week. Good read so far, but still in the introductions.

I'm starting to treat this more as my kinky journal, as opposed to just hypnosis. That being said, on Twitter I follow various sex workers I find interesting for one reason or another. Would like to visit some, but due to time, money, distance, etc. I never have. I go back and forth in my mind between wanting a full service escort to a dominatrix, to a hypnodom. Recently became aware of a local domme who appears more sensual, i.e.. tease and denial vs the stereotypical leather clad domme who will whip you. So I added her to follow and to my surprise she DM'ed me. We had a brief conversation where I answered her questions and shared some kinks. I didn't want to waste her time since she's a business and I'm not a client currently, but damn if I'm not intrigued now! Seriously considering scheduling time with her when I'm able. Assuming I do and she permits, will probably write a story about the experience.

During lunchtime listened to my weekly files of Consent is a Key and Good Boy. And right before the end of the work day revisited Good Boys Get Afflicted. Many entries here will be repetitive, but it's helpful for me so I can recall what I listened to and when and spread them out well.

Feb 28th
Had a busy day. Squeezed in some time for Relaxation Induction, but it didn't go well. Lay down in bed for this during the day, which I don't normally do. Don't think I fell asleep, but definitely blanked or lost focus a few times during the file. Can't really explain, but just didn't feel right. Not sure if it's was because I was in bed during the day or because I was so busy and forced some time in so I wasn't really in the right headspace or just an off day. Was really the only chance I had for the day. Maybe it's better if I just accept and skip completely when I have days like this instead of forcing it?

Mar 1st
Today was a little more normal, though busy in the morning. Afternoon had time for Inevitable Trigger and I went down much easier and it felt like it had been, though I did find myself drifting away again. Wish I knew if this is a good thing or not. My conscious mind drifts or gets side tracked I think and I come in and out of hearing what's being said.

Rest of the day was busy and I was wiped. Had no plans on listening or anything before bed. Lay down to go to sleep when my mind drifted to sexy thoughts and suddenly I was hard and stroking myself. Wound up edging for at least a half hour, maybe closer to an hour? Eventually became too tired and went to sleep. I feel like the part of me that really wants to orgasm is getting quieter and I just want more time to edge.

Mar 2nd
Another crazy morning, but had some time to listen to Powerless right before lunch and boy did I need that! Part of it had a weight being lifted from my shoulders, which is something I could use right now, so it was a welcome distraction from work pressures. Very relaxing.

My afternoon was fairly open, which was a welcome change from the rest of the week, so took advantage and played Edging Day. You can probably guess from the title, but she takes me down and has me stroke and edge. Going deeper the more I edge. At one point I felt very deeply down, stroking away, not even reaching an edge, just stroking and stroking. She encouraged me to keep going as she brought me back up. Between the file and my continued stroking since it ended, I've been edging for over a half hour. I'm so turned on, but still not sure if I really want to cum or not, I just know edging feels so good.

Well, I was about to stop and play another file, but then pushed myself a little too far. Tried to hold back, but it was too late and became a large ruin. As the cum dribbled out I hesitated, wanting to stroke more and try to salvage an orgasm and wanting to be good and accept my mistake. My urges won. I couldn't resist and started stroking, but think it was too late. I sort of had an orgasm, but it felt very different and unfulfilling. Definitely was not satisfying, but will still reset the clock to today.

Mar 3rd
Busy morning and still a little disappointed in myself for yesterday's accident. During lunch listened to The Door which is now part of my weekly routine. Not sure when I'll move on to one of the Behind the Door files. It's both scary and exciting and really hope it works as described. I often find myself trying to do too much too quickly. Part impatience and part taking advantage when I have the time. Trying really hard to pace myself this time.

Followed that with Control 5 to reinforce no orgasms. My dream is to be under such control that I would be unable to orgasm no matter what I do or is done to me, unless I have permission. I don't know if that's too far fetched (especially for non-interactive files), but that's the fantasy.

Later I went to Corruption, the Good Boy version. It's meant to convince me to give up control of my orgasms to her or someone else. There is also a Good Toy version, which I assume was the original because this had jarring edits to replace toy with boy. If I listen again will switch to the toy version so it's smoother, though not sure if I need this file in my rotation. I'm already corrupted, that's my whole thing!

Had a busy weekend, so no time for anything. Still disappointed I lost control, especially since it was not even an enjoyable orgasm. Makes it double frustrating!

Hypnosis Journal February 19th to 26th Update

 Pretty much took a month off. It started as a week, then two, and just snowballed from there. Was a combination of less time between work being busy and other dumb life things, and also my mood being pretty down, borderline depressed.

I listened to a few files mixed in during this time. Didn't track any of them like I should have and often it was done right before bed, which was usually pretty late. When I do this I can never tell if I'm actually falling asleep and missing most of the files or if I'm just going really deep and not consciously hearing/retaining. I always assume its the former, but not entirely sure.

Haven't had a chance to crack that Mind Play book yet either. Just not enough hours in the day, especially since a job eats up so much of it.

At any rate, seeing if I can get back into a routine/schedule starting today. Also I've been cumming all willy nilly again. If you're scoring at home, last orgasm was Feb 19th.

Feb 20th
During the day I listened to Consent is a Key and Good Boy to get back into training, as it were. Her trance trigger still works well after the short time away. These were good reintroductions and reinforcements. Then I went to Control 1, which is a very short five minute file and explores the idea of control and how/why I want it. Right before bed I then went back to Good Boys Get Afflicted to see if I can get back to need permission for an orgasm. Wanted to also try the Hypnovirus again, but it was getting late and figured I should gets some sleep.

Feb 21st
Today was Relaxation Induction, which was a nice escape after a rough day of work. Followed up with Control 2, but was interrupted by a dog right as she was about to count me up. So not the worst timing, but still annoying. It delves more into my desire for control, why I want it and how good it feels. It's especially true after work, since most of my day is people needing things from me. Being able to lay back, relax, and let someone else drive would be wonderful.

At one point during the day I stumbled on a few different variants of the 2048 game. Apparently, quite a few people made hypno versions of it. Some are seizure inducing, but others are pretty well done. One was made specifically for Shibby, another hypno domme I listened to years ago. While I love her voice and style, much of her content seemed more focused on people achieving HFO's, which isn't necessarily my goal. Plus she did a lot of other non-hypno audios, which I wasn't interested in either, so I never went too far with her content. Spent a little time falling down a rabbit hole of her files. Maybe I'll broaden my horizons a bit and cherry pick a few from her. Another strike against is her files are generally longer and I have a hard enough time squeezing in 10-15 minute sessions.

However, I did manage to have some time before bed and played three in a row before going to sleep. Started with Addiction for Toys, which you may have guessed is supposed to develop an addiction for hypnosis, mainly Aurora's files. Wondering if it worked right away, because I really had to force myself to stop and go to sleep. I followed with HypnoVirus, which once again was very effective and I felt like I was on edge without touching. When I came up I was pretty turned on and wound up touching and edging for a bit. I wanted to keep listening, but this is where I forced myself to pick one that has me sleep at the end. I went with Sexy Dreams. I think it may have worked as I remember one dream, wasn't exactly sexy, but was very different for me. I was a woman and under arrest or something? One of the guards had me insert some kind of plug dildo thing inside of me. Was very bizarre and the details are hazy, but that's all I can remember.

Feb 22nd
Busy day, but managed to squeeze in Inevitable Trigger during lunch, again reinforcing the trance trigger. Then later listened to Control 3 which is a very short, teasing file. Despite how short it is, it definitely affected me, which I take as a good sign.

A little later I tried Pleasure Dial which installs a new trigger to allow me to control the amount of pleasure I feel. During the session I could definitely feel as she turned the dial up to 40%. Afterwards I tried it on my own going up to 50% and then 90%, and I could actually feel it! Of course that led me to stroking and edging, but I had a meeting in a few minutes so stopped and turned the dial back to zero so I could move on. Adding this one to a regular rotation for sure!

Before bed I tried Waves of Pleasure but never let it finish. It has a lot of background noises I found too distracting. So I tried another one that was new to me, Shhh... I think I fell asleep for real during, caught myself snoring slightly, so missed a good chunk. It was supposed to make me unable to speak. Will need to try again some other time. Instead of sleeping like I should have, I put on Good Boys Get Enslaved. It was different than I remembered, focused more on saying her name and being aroused by it. Probably need to listen to Pleasure Compulsion again for it to be more effective. Still not feeling like sleeping, I put on the custom Cal's Curse that TwistedElegence made for me awhile back. It's funny how listening to it now I wish I had customized the script more to my liking instead of the minor modifications I made to the original. Sometimes I'm just too critical and can't shut off. Afterwards, I would up edging for a little while, listening to more of her audios, mainly her having an orgasm. Finally, I forced myself to stop and go to sleep.

Feb 23rd
Another busy day. Made some time in the afternoon for Powerless. Took me pretty deep and reinforces the trance trigger. Then Control 4. I thought these Control files would be another weekly listen, but now not so much. This one gives pleasure whenever I hear her name, but only for the day. So basically a temporary version of Pleasure Compulsion.

Slacked a bit in the afternoon so tried Seduced by Magic for the first time. Was surprised it had background music, since the majority of her files so far have none. Also there was a loud sound effect that startled me, but somehow also started pulling me down. In it she has a vial with magic smoke that comes out. I swear I could smell it! It makes you feel submissive and like a slave, which isn't usually a big ask for me.

Right before bed I tried Anesthesia Fantasy but ended it almost immediately. It had binaurals, which I normally really like, but they were too loud and almost drowning our her voice. Was too distracting so I moved on, which is a shame. Instead I listened to Corruption, but definitely fell asleep during. I woke up after the file ended. Took that as a sign and went to sleep instead of pushing my luck. I really enjoy laying in bed to listen, but there's always the risk of me falling asleep, especially late at night. Sitting in my desk chair has been more effective, though not as comfy.

Feb 24th
Right before lunch I finished the Control series with Control 5 in which she takes away your ability to orgasm. Naturally, I listened to the version without the safeword. I've been off and on edging myself all week and was very aroused when I came up and began stroking and edging some more before finally stopping to make some lunch.

Late afternoon I had some time and listened to Pleasure Center for the first time. Really enjoyed this one. She has me picture a ball in my mind that is my pleasure center and she begins touching and stroking it. I could feel the pleasure build, especially when she had me begin touching myself. She also presses her name into it so I think of her when I feel pleasure. As usual she teases then brings me up. I'm getting pretty horny and really want to cum, but can't seem to make myself do it. Wound up stroking and edging for a good half hour. Couldn't seem to stop myself or let myself cum. Finally stopped when I went slightly too far and had a small ruin. Just a very small amount of cum eventually dribbled out. Extremely frustrating.

Before bed I was going to listen to just one file and wanted to try Wax Play, but the audio quality wasn't great, so adding it to the no play list. Instead went back to HypnoVirus Mutation and I don't remember most the file but came up when told and was feeling quite aroused. Immediately followed it with HypnoVirus Amnesia. That one I remember fully. I find it interesting how sometimes I remember, but sometimes I don't, and I usually can't tell if I was asleep, in trance, both. For the Mutation file I assume in trance, since it deals with increased arousal and I felt it right away.

Still not wanting to sleep, I decided to change it up and played a file from Mistress Leslie, Always Horny Trance. It has two versions and of course I chose the denial one. This file had a lot of repetition and a separate looping voice in the left ear. Different style to be sure. Curious to try some other files from her. During the file she had me touching myself and afterwards I couldn't help but continue to stroke and edge for some time. Eventually I stopped myself and listened to Sexy Dreams before finally going to sleep. Unfortunately, I had no fun dreams I could remember.

Feb 25th
This afternoon as I wrote up the recap from last night, I've been stroking and edging myself. It's only been a week, but I really want to cum. Instead I keep teasing myself and am having a hard time stopping. After around two hours, I finally stopped to make lunch. I both really want to cum, but also want someone to tie me down, sit on my face, and tease me senseless!

No time for any files and was too tired to listen right before bed. Ironically, I did have the beginnings of a sexy dream. A bit hazy, started in a work environment and ended with a naked woman, someone I never met or even remember seeing, but I woke up before it got interesting.

Overall, pretty good first week getting back on track. Weeded out some files, unfortunately, have a good weekly base schedule, and aside from the tiny ruin, no orgasm since the 19th.

Hypnosis Journal Week 3 - Jan 15 to Jan 21

Jan 15th

Spent most the day watching playoff football, plus I'm still not feeling 100%. Just very tired. Had a little time late so tried Nothing but Blank at the recommendation of someone on Discord. As the title suggests, it takes you down and has you go blank with no awakener, letting you come back up on your own. I put it in a playlist with my new weekly plan. Sundays will start with Consent is a Key. Nothing but Blank was great. Very relaxing, took me deep, was a nice setup. Plan to use it again as a "pre-game" for other files, but don't want to overuse it and make it too memorable. I find when I listen to the same files too often I start predicting the words instead of listening. Should probably look into if that's a good thing or not, in my mind it isn't but maybe I'm wrong.

When I came up I was very aroused and wound up edging for a few minutes before I finally stopped myself and picked another file. I tried HypnoVirus Returns, but again was interrupted. Not sure what it is about that file but I can't seem to get through it. Getting pretty fucking annoying.

Jan 16th

In the afternoon I listened to Relaxation Induction as part of the weekly training. I'm liking this weekly thing I'm doing. Each one is simple and relaxing and reinforcing the trance trigger. Feel like it's establishing a nice base for me.

Later at night had some time and tried HypnoVirus Returns yet again, this time the cat was going crazy with a ping pong ball. I am not meant to listen to this file. Switched to a podcast until she settled down, but instead of trying again went to the first HypnoVirus and got through that fine. Just like the first time, really felt like I was on edge without even touching and was incredibly turned on when I came up, so wound up edging for a little while. After another start and stop, and ensuing break, I finally got through the Returns file! Now that I did, I find it pretty funny how I kept getting interrupted. It's similar to the first Virus, except this time she has me touch myself and eventually cum! Time to reset the clock, last orgasm was 1/16. If I had known, probably would have skipped this file, but at the same time it felt incredible! Was very relaxed afterwards even though I had a mess to clean up after coming up. Also the file only came through the right ear for the first few minutes. Don't think it's intentional, but since I probably won't listen to this one much, if ever, not going to worry about it.

Jan 17th

At lunchtime listened to Inevitable Trigger. Nice, relaxing trance and further reinforcement of the trance trigger. Bonus of some fractionation at the end. Still feeling a little floaty from it, which is probably not helpful for a work meeting I have soon.

Since I had a surprise orgasm yesterday, figured I better get back to basics. In the afternoon I listened to Denied to remind me it's better to edge than to cum. Can definitely feel a difference dropping each time with the trigger. Feels like it's getting easier and easier. Also I was surprised when I went under this time my cock got hard immediately. There weren't any suggestions, it just happened. This file also puts the fantasy in my head of someone controlling my mind, controlling me, never letting me orgasm, constantly teasing, always horny, always on edge. A guy can dream.

Jan 18th

Today's weekly file is Powerless. Feel like this schedule is working well. One base refresher file, than another one or two later in the day if I have time. At this point just hearing her voice starts to put me under. Once I hear the trigger I'm down. As an aside, some files have versions for either good boy or toy. Being a man, I went with the boy ones but thinking of switching to the toy versions since there was a trigger to give pleasure when hearing it and so far it's working.

In the afternoon I tried HypnoVirus Mutation, and even though I had my phone muted, a call came in and the ringtone started playing on my headphones. What the fuck?! I was two thirds through, very turned on, but now my head is cloudy and I'm kinda pissed. And of course it was a spam call anyway. Thinking I need something other than my phone, or maybe an old phone I might still have that has no service, or just use airplane mode. Bah. Too angry to even try again right now.

Now I'm doing phone testing. There's a do not disturb, but it still blips the audio when a call comes in. WTF?! Looks like airplane mode is the winner. So fucking stupid.

Jan 19th

Initially I was going to have Falling to Pieces 3 as the weekly file, until I realized while listening she installs an awake trigger, which now brings me up during the install part. A bit confusing, so I think repeated listening won't be super beneficial. So shifted days and went to Good Boy instead. A little later in the afternoon I listened to Good Boys Get Afflicted to reinforce needing permission to orgasm. Speaking of, guess I'm still building back up because I haven't done too much edging. Also my mood is a little down this week, which doesn't help with sexy fun times.

Later I gave another try at HypnoVirus Mutation and was able to get through it without any interruptions! I'm enjoying these HypnoVirus files. it includes it's own trigger related to the virus and I can actually feel it throughout my body when she says it. This mutation requires my arousal. On a scale of one to ten where one is nothing and ten is an orgasm, it requires a minimum of five constantly. When I came up I was so hard and turned on and have been having a difficult time not touching myself since. So forget what I said earlier about not much edging, I guess. We'll see how this affects me longer term, but plan on coming back to this one fairly often.

Jan 20th

Had a busy morning but in the late afternoon went to one of my favorites, Good Boys Get Fractionated. Followed that up with Trance.rora which adds a new trance trigger and treats it like installing a program, making me a trance bot. I'm only aware of one other file that follows this format. Went very deep, but testing the trigger after wasn't as effective as the main trigger she uses. Probably just need some more listens.

Also my copy of Mind Play arrived today. Looking forward to read it and hopefully pick up some tips.

Jan 21st

First half of the day was spent doing errands/chores and the second half was football. Eagles smashed the Giants, so it wasn't a total waste. Point is no time for hypno today. Ironically, I tend to have more time to myself on weekdays than weekends. Should probably adjust my weekly training schedule accordingly. Also my libido is still pretty low, so not much edging going on and last orgasm was still the 16th.

Hypnosis Journal Week 2 - Jan 8 to Jan 14

Jan 8th

Had some time to myself this morning so put on Snap Fractionation since I've recently discovered it's my favorite thing, but my dogs are jerks so I had to stop right as I was about to go under. Hid away to a spare bedroom to try again and went undisturbed. Not sure how much I liked the tease to go under, much prefer the tease of coming back up, but can see the appeal from the hypnotists' point of view. Was a little frustrating in a fun way. Think I need more conditioning for the snaps to be more effective, but I was thrilled the "evil" whisper voice was back.

After that I tried Deeper, which I didn't realize had some light fractionation as well. Introduced a new trance trigger, but it was only temporary for this file, which is a shame. Overall, it was effective for me.

Followed that up with Deeply Submissive. Wasn't exactly what I expected, but that wasn't a bad thing. Dealt more with orgasm denial and reminding me that edging is better than cumming, essentially. Also had binaurals, which I found were a bit too loud to start, but either they softened or I adapted.

At this point I knew I should go and do some yardwork, but where's the fun in that? So I tried the re-download of Hypnovirus and thankfully this didn't have the partial other session tacked on at the end. Wasn't as good as last night, as in I didn't feel like I was super on edge, but it was still effective. I was then going to move on to Hypnovirus Returns, but only got a couple minutes in before my dogs were assholes again, barking up a storm. Gave up at that point to rake some leaves and hurt my back, apparently.

I really need to map out a plan. Right now I'm picking files a bit too randomly. Also maybe dial back a bit. I try to take advantage of the time I get, but wonder if I'm doing too many at once. Maybe with a better plan it won't feel that way. During the Eagles game this afternoon I might try and come up with a roadmap for me going forward. Overall, I'm thrilled with the progress I've made. I'm sure the fact I've listened off and on for years now has helped. Also, almost a week since my last orgasm with edging sessions a couple times a day. So far doing fine with it. Far from my record of just over a month. Not necessarily trying to break it this time, just playing it by ear.

Jan 9th

Didn't listen to anything before bed and slept a little better. Coincidence? Still mapping out a plan. Thinking some kind of base to reinforce basic things, maybe certain files each day but only once a week so they don't get too repetitive. Like a base Monday file, Tuesday file, etc and then anything else I have time for after is gravy (and hopefully fun!).

As I go through figuring out my mapping, I tried New to Hypno? to see if it should be included. It is a great file for new users, and something that would make a nice refresher once in awhile, but don't think I need it weekly at this point. Just a nice chat in the beginning, simple relaxing induction and then brought back up.

Jan 10th

Once again skipped any late night listening. I was already pretty tired. At some time during the night something got knocked over, which spooked the dogs, and they spent the rest of the night pushed up against me, along with one of the cats, so not great sleep for me again. This morning I tried a file that is not on her current website, maybe I got it from her old one? It's titled Inevitable Trigger. I wasn't in the right headspace for it, but it's another good intro file reinforcing the trance trigger, so may add it to the weekly rotation.

In the afternoon tried Come in from the Cold. Standalone file that has you experiencing cold sensations. I was able to visualize snow pretty well, don't recall feeling anything but then don't remember the last couple minutes of the file either. Just came up when she told me to, so something to try again later. I then tried Consent is Key. Once again reinforcing the trance trigger and also adds a pleasure trigger, so this will probably go into the weekly rotation. It also deals with, as the title suggests, consent and giving her a key to mine. Very nice file.

Finished up by going back to Relaxation Induction. Blanked out again for a good chunk of it, came back when she brought me up and at the exact same time my dog started licking my arm. So not sure who really brought me back. My dogs are not cooperating at all on this journey! Think I'm close to mapping out my weekly files, then I can start adding on the more fun ones once I feel I'm ready, which I'm starting to think I'm very close to being. That is assuming my dogs ever allow it.

Jan 11th

Today was rough. Work was non-stop meetings and I was mentally wiped afterwards. Even had to skip my workout, another thing I'm trying to get back into. Was able to have a couple edging sessions during the day and another restless night resulted in me waking up at least twice and edging some more. Coming up on ten days with no orgasms but lots of edges. Toying with the idea of waiting and see if one of the files can make me cum.

Jan 12th

Another busy day. In the afternoon I wanted to listen to a file titled Control, which is an older one no longer on her site and separate from the Control Series, as far as I know. Still not sure because like an idiot I forgot to mute my phone, which I use to listen, and got a very loud text notification about a third of the way in. Short time later I didn't want to repeat the same file, so tried Powerless, and this might be in the running for another weekly listen. It reinforces the trance trigger. Pretty sure I had more to say, but either it didn't save or I forgot, and now it's a couple days later. I need to get better at recording my thoughts right away.

Jan 13th

Friday the 13th and I have a cold or something. Covid test was negative, so yay, but I logged off work early and got in bed to watch a movie, then put on a playlist of files. I went with Good Boys Get Fractionated the asleep version, then Worship, At My Feet, Rub My Feet, and finally Wax Play, which apparently is an older file and not on her current site. Started off well enough as I enjoy the fractionation. From there it went downhill. Worship wants me to physically get on my knees, which at the time I was unable to do. The next two files are more about putting me in a fantasy, which I don't think I'm ready for yet. I know it's not real and I'm unable to let my mind be fooled into thinking otherwise for now. At that point I was getting really warm under the covers and a bit frustrated so ended it for the day.

Jan 14th

Another busy day, so no time for any files.

Overall, a disappointing week. Just not enough hours in the day for me. I did come up with files I want to train with weekly, but not the order yet. Hoping to sort that out on Sunday and go from there. Should also note still no orgasm since the 2nd, but lots of short edging sessions since then. Feel like every night I wake up at least once and edge for a short while before I force myself to stop and try and get more sleep. Not as desperate as I thought I'd be, but the smallest things are turning me on. Getting hard just typing this, for example.

Hypnosis Journal Week 1 - Jan 1 to Jan 7

I’ve dabbled with erotic hypnosis for many years, but never really had the time or opportunity to stick with it. Nikki Fatale was my initial introduction. Her voice and style was simply amazing. Hearing her say, “Sleep” and a snap would have me slipping down so easily, but like I said I was never able to consistently stay with it. After her I found the Warp My Mind site. Those files promised amazing sounding “curses” but were voiced by a man, which for me was not effective nor desired. Over the years since, I’ve discovered many, many different erotic hypnotists. Some I enjoyed their style but the content didn’t always match my kinks, or the opposite would be true. I have an embarrassingly large 185 GB collection of hypno MP3s and videos from various sources, the large majority I’ve never even listened to (I'm a bit of a virtual hoarder).

The past year was rough personally, so I got away from most of my online kinky fun. Stopped creating captioned photos. Didn’t write any stories. Didn’t even engage in one of my favorite fetishes, edging and denying myself. I was just cumming all willy nilly whenever. With the new year things are settling down and I’m feeling more myself again, so I’m making a serious, conscious effort. I've started creating a caption backlog so I can start posting again to my BDSMlr page. Trying to finish some of the stories I started and dropped for whatever reason and get them posted here and on Literotica (and get my backlog on there too). And of course the point of this journal, getting back into erotic hypnosis and really trying to train myself.

Almost exactly one year ago I came across a hypnotist on Reddit, I think, who goes by Lady Aurora. Her files were very short compared to others I've seen, so with shorter inductions than I was used to I questioned how effective it would be for me, but many of the files catered to my denial fetish so I gave them a try. I enjoyed them so much that when she created a website I signed up at the highest tier for several months. She also had a Discord server at the time that I joined, but didn't interact much, if at all. That's also around the time life went sideways, so while I was still a member and collecting available files, I had no time or desire to listen.

Around a week ago I was looking on Reddit and stumbled on Aurora's post titled Do you want your orgasms to be controlled... by a machine? Naturally, I was intrigued and found she created a new Discord server, so I joined. Thanks to some social anxiety issues, I'm not sure how well I'm fitting in, but seeing how others are conditioned and enjoying hypnosis it's encouraging me to give it another try. Another user is logging their journey, so I'm stealing that idea for myself. Starting off focusing on Aurora's files to keep a consistent voice/triggers in my head. Then plan to expand to Miss Lilith who also has many denial themes, a British accent, and uses many effects that I would normally find off-putting but for some reason really helps to bring me down. After that not sure if I'll explore further or not. Ideally I'd like to try a one-on-one live session, either in person or online, but the reality of that may not be feasible. For now, baby steps.

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions and never do them, so the fact I started this on January 1st is pure coincidence. My notes and recollections for the first few days may be a little hazy. Wasn't planning on doing this at first. Then thought I should at least track the files and make note of which I liked and didn't so I could repeat the good and ignore the "bad." Then realized I should keep more detailed notes. All that means this first post will contain a lot of files, but the details may be lacking. My plan is to track my experiences daily, but post weekly.

That being said, here's week one of my journey! Should also note that there may be some spoilers for files I listen to. I'll do my best not to ruin them too much, but it's pretty hard to discuss my experience without explaining them sometimes.

Jan 1st

Sunday holiday. Watched the Eagles lay an egg and had a little time to myself. Started with Good Boy. Figured that's a good starter file that gives a trance trigger that's used in other files later. Anytime I hear "Good boy" I can feel a little smile form on my lips. Followed that immediately with Good Boys Get Afflicted which builds on the first one and adds an orgasm restriction that I need permission from someone. This works well with the Orgasm Donation Program I entered in Discord (every edging session where you don't orgasm you can donate and you can ask a bot permission to cum but must abide by it). After that I went into Pleasure Compulsion which associates pleasure when saying her name (while writing this, just discovered there's a no safeword version I should get). And finally I went to Good Boys Get Enslaved which again adds more to the Good Boy theme and reinforces the needing permission to orgasm. It's been a few days, so don't really remember how I felt or even how effective they were. Will most likely go back to these often as a base, unless I find some that are more appropriate.

Jan 2nd

Back to work, even though I work from home. Didn't have a chance to listen to any hypno, but I began catching up with a voice artist I was friendly with before life got in the way. She encouraged me to try writing scripts for voice artists and even record my own stuff (just a couple ramblefaps of me edging here and here, but it was a start), but unfortunately never got very far with it. She was also kind enough to voice a modified version of Cal's Curse for me, including a personalized one with my name. Something I need to get back to at some point. Wound up edging for a bit, asked the bot for permission and got it. In the moment was glad but afterwards disappointed. Maybe i need someone/something else to give me permission to ask?

Jan 3rd

The beauty of the shorter files is I can sneak some in during the day. A quick break at my desk. Went with Good Boy again to help reinforce the trance trigger. Later in the day tried Aurora Takes Your Agency. There is another file called Aurora on Agency that explains the listeners ability to still have control. Be able to wake on your own and resist suggestions. The one I listened to is the same file with an "evil" voice whispering throughout, essentially countermining everything the main voice is saying. At one point I'm to wake on my own, but the whispers told me not to so I obeyed and stayed under. Later she gave a suggestion I was supposed to resist to strip my clothes off, but the whisper voice told me to do it so I did. I was then brought back up and was in my desk chair completely nude. I remember doing everything, but often can't tell if I'm playing along or not. Am I obeying because I want to or because I want this to be working or is it simply working and I'm overthinking it, or maybe it's all the same thing?

Later that night I tried an edit I made a while back. I took a few of the Good Boy files and edited them together, making a longer induction essentially. It was a bad idea and waste of time. Wound up deleting it. Then went to Focus which is another file telling me I cannot orgasm without permission. The original file has an out, a safeword to end the denial, but I edited that out so the file I have no longer contains the safeword. Did I mention how much I enjoy tease and denial? Anyway, the thing that surprised me is the small fractionation in the file and how much I enjoyed it. Previously I was never a fan of it and tended to avoid it. In my head, I needed longer inductions to relax and go down and coming back up "broke the spell" for me. This time it was pretty effective and felt kind of amazing. Something I want to explore later. I then put on a Naughty Loops file that was discussed earlier in Discord. Aurora had someone listen as "punishment." I enjoyed the beginning and end of the file, but when the voices began overlapping it was a bit too much, and not in a fun way. Nothing bad, just sounded like nonsense with a few words coming through. I'll probably try it again some other time, but this time it was more annoying than anything else.

That night I had difficulty going to sleep. I was lying in bed and wide awake. Considered getting up and playing PlayStation but grabbed my headphones instead. I put on Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties asleepener version. This file gives a compulsion to edge and avoid orgasm with no safeword (noticing a theme with me?) and at the end has you go to sleep. The good news is it helped me fall asleep, the bad is the suggestion to have sexy dreams didn't take.

Jan 4th

During the day I looped Hypnotic Acceptance by Miss Lilith. It's a passive loop meant to strip away resistance to all sorts of hypnosis and suggestions. I was able to listen while I worked during the morning. Thought I'd have time in the afternoon for some more active listening, but work got hectic. Other companies blaming their problems on us and an incompetent tech brought something down. Was not a fun afternoon.

Recreational marijuana recently became legal in my state. I never used it before (I'm such a good boy!) so a month ago got some edibles (I loathe smoking in any form). So I had one to relax and after dinner decided to try some files while "under the influence." I played four back-to-back. Started with Open Wide, as Aurora that day on Discord mentioned it was one of her favorites. Don't recall much about it, probably need to try it again. Followed that with Good Boys Get Fractionated and holy shit was that fun! Think I'm now a fan of fractionation. Especially enjoyed when she counted up, never let me get fully up, and then sent me back down. Tempted to edit together a longer version. After that went back to Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties but the awakener version this time. When I came up I was pretty aroused and touching myself a bit. Before I got too carried away I put on Good Boys Get Enslaved. This time when I came up I couldn't resist touching and edging myself. I was still pretty fuzzy and got an alert from the Discord channel of a "nude flash" so checked it out. Someone posted an amazingly sexy vid of themselves which only helped to fuel my current state. I was eventually able to get myself under control and shared my experience there. Felt like that went over like a fart in church which was another factor in getting me to start this journal here. Overall, it was an amazing experience. I remember at one point going down, in my mind I pictured diving into water and going super deep. I can still visualize that a few days later. Something I may cling to anytime I go under now. Just typing that is making me a little fuzzy and aroused.

Jan 5th

I forgot Aurora has her own passive file, In the Background (Triple Voice). Gave it a listen once during work, then in the afternoon had time so went with Falling to Pieces Vol 1 - Pleasure Snaps. Not sure how deep I really went or how effective it was for me. It's supposed to provide pleasure when she snaps her fingers. Worked a little I think, but will need to try again. Also this is meant to be modular, but I listened to the full file which has an asleepener at the end after coming up. I simply stopped the file first, but will probably want to use a playlist or edit to remove to make things easier for me. Second file is the same modular format, Falling to Pieces Vol 3 - Trance & Awake. This one deals with fractionation and establishes, or in my case reinforced, the trance trigger but also adds an awake trigger. This one worked fairly well for me and my mind felt a little fuzzy for a few hours after. Can't believe I've been avoiding and missing out on fractionation all this time! Also thinking if there's a file I really want to work/stick for me I should "pre-game" with some fractionation and take advantage of some of the modular files she has. Lots to think about here.

Jan 6th

Didn't sleep well last night. That's the second time this week. Hoping it's not related and just one of those things. I woke up around 3 or 4 AM and was pretty horny so wound up edging myself for like a half hour. Never had much time during the day for anything. Stumbled across some hypno web games that seem interesting and found a good article on how to be a better subject.

Right before bed I took a little time and listened to Pleasure Reflection. Basically spent the entire file edging myself and denied at the end while I got to listen to Aurora orgasm instead, which definitely works for me since my favorite sound is a woman having an orgasm. I then put Objectified Slave on a loop. I liked the idea of listening to that as I go to sleep, but unfortunately it's impractical with my bulky noise cancelling headphones. I have some in-ear ones, but feel like seeping in them is a bad idea. Maybe I'll see if there's a better option. Also wondering if pre-gaming with another file and then going to this in a playlist to loop would be interesting. More things to ponder. So after like three or four loops, I went back to Down the Rabbithole - No Safeties asleepener version. Once again it helped me drift to sleep. Still no fun dreams I can remember. Also I'm hazy if I woke in the middle of the night again and edged some more, but I definitely did this morning. My last orgasm was on the 2nd and I've "donated" six since then (total is eight donations to one ask and granted permission). Should probably be feeling it a bit more than I am, but could just be how busy I've been.

Jan 7th

Like I said, I woke up hard so edged for a bit. Had some things to do this morning, so while I went a little longer than I should have, I did manage to pull myself away. Later on I had some time and went with Relaxation Induction. The name is accurate. Don't really remember much from the file. Sometimes I'm not sure if I actually fall asleep or my mind drifts away and I'm no longer paying attention or I'm just truly in a trance state, but I came back right when she counted me up so I'm thinking it's the last of the three. After that I went to Hypnovirus, with the thought I'd work towards Hypnovirus Amnesia, which makes you forget what an orgasm is and you think an edge is an orgasm. But baby steps. So Hypnovirus worked very well. In it I inhale the "virus" and then she touches me and brings me to the edge, closer and closer, and then denies me and counts me up. What's crazy is I really felt like I was on edge and if she commanded me to cum I would have. I've never chased an HFO (hands free orgasm) like others I've seen online. I've tried a few in the past and they've never really done much for me, but I also wasn't training as much for them either. This is definitely the closest I've felt under trance, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) I was denied so we'll never know. Once the file was done I was crazy horny and began touching myself, but apparently the file wasn't done. Another session began. I figured what the hell, and went with it, not knowing what this would entail. Well I'll never know, I went under and then it stopped. This isn't something I edited, so I guess an old version of the file had a bad edit or something? I'll need to download it again since it's free and compare. Took me a few minutes to bring myself up and by then FedEx dropped something off, making the dogs go nuts, so playtime was over.

Right before bed, I setup a playlist of the entire Control Series and then Sexy Dreams. Control is five files, all relatively short. I remember the first one, two through four only the induction and wakeups, and five I remember. It was pretty late so again unsure if I was actually asleep or trance asleep, but thinking the latter. Sexy Dreams is what you'd think, but once again I don't recall having any fun, sexy dreams. Also once again I didn't sleep very well, so starting to worry this is affecting my sleep negatively. Might need to cut back and see or refrain from listening right before bed. Could all be coincidence as I've had bouts of inconsistent sleep before, but I feel like since I started this the only night I slept really well was when I had the edible. I'll have to continue to monitor and see.

That's week one. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I like writing it. See you next week!

A Costly Tease

 Been a long while since I posted anything. Life got crazy and I lost my mojo. Can't say it's fully back, but this short story came out pretty easily, so who knows.

Victor woke up moaning as he felt a hand gently stroking his achingly hard cock. His pleasure quickly turned to panic when he opened his eyes and tried to piece together where he was and who was with him. The fact he was tied to the bed with something shoved into his mouth didn’t help matters, but as the last cobwebs of sleep cleared his head he began to remember. This is his hotel room. He’s away from home on a business trip. More of a boondoggle, if he was being honest. Some tech expo his company sent him on. During the day you walk around and listen to sales pitches from various vendors, but the nights were spent drinking and flirting with those same salespeople and other tech workers. It usually didn’t turn into anything more than harmless fun and he’d go to his room alone to sleep off the booze. That is until last night when he met…crap what was her name? After his eyes adjusted to the daylight, he looked down at the mystery woman sitting on the side of the bed, fully clothed, smiling as she continued stroking him. She was as pretty as he remembered from last night. Auburn hair cascading down on her shoulders that framed her cute, round face. The loose, flowing, black dress she wore did well to conceal her curvy, hourglass figure he became so intimate with just a few hours ago. She almost looked innocent if he didn’t already know better.

 “Good morning, sweetie! I hope you had as much fun last night as I did. I need to go soon, but I wouldn’t dream of leaving without saying goodbye.” As her hand quickened its pace and brought him to the edge, only to slow down and hold him there, he began begging for mercy. Of course, only muffled nonsense could be heard which only caused her to giggle.

As Victor stared at the ceiling in frustration, he thought back to how he ended up like this in the first place. The expo was over and for most it was their last night in town, so the drinking and socializing was amped up. Victor managed to finagle an extra night so he could have a day to himself and take in some sights, but still did his best to keep up with his peers. At least that was his plan until he went to the bar to grab the third round for himself and a few friends he’d made this week. It was crowded, but he still managed to find an open stool. He sat down and gave his order, trying his best to remember them all and was startled by the voice next to him, “And I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

 Surprised, he turned to her, “Excuse me?”

 “I said I’ll have a gin and tonic.” She smiled and batted her eyes, “Please?”

 Flabbergasted, he replied, “Uh, yeah, sure, why not?” Turning to the bartender, “And a gin and tonic for the lady. Thanks.”

 “Thanks sweetie! You here for that nerdy convention thing?”

 “The tech expo? Yup, but it just ended. It’s our last night here for most of us.” Victor found himself a little nervous, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. He wasn’t trying to hit on her, quite the opposite it seemed. Then it hit him. The way she was acting, that oversized handbag next her on the bar she probably kept some supplies in, she wasn’t necessarily dressed the part, but he assumed she must be a “pro,” the kind of date you pay for up front. He had nothing against sex work, just not something he was looking for. Not wanting to be rude, he paid for the drinks and started gathering them up to bring to his table, “Well, nice meeting you. Enjoy your drink.”

 Before he could turn to leave, she put her hand on his bare arm and he swore he felt electricity tingle its way up his arm then down his spine. He had to suppress a shiver lest he spill the drinks, “Hey, you’re not gonna make a girl drink by herself, are you?”

 Hesitating longer than he should have, he replied, “Sorry, I need to get these over to my friends. There’s some thirsty people over there.”

 She looked over at them then back to Victor, “Fine, but leave yours here and come right back and keep me company!” She wasn’t asking, she was telling, and for some reason he couldn’t explain he was obeying.

 As he dropped off the drinks, he made a lame excuse about running into an old college friend and wanted to catch up. Next thing he knows he’s sitting back at the bar and chatting up this strange woman. She isn’t here for the expo but is vague about why she’s in a hotel bar. He can’t even get her name out of her. All this further confirms his suspicions, so before things get out of hand and he gives in to temptation, he tries to nip this in the bud, “Look, I don’t want to waste your time or anything, but I’m not looking for a “companion” or anything tonight. I’m happy to buy you that drink and chat, but that’s it, if you catch my drift.”

 She stared at him for a few seconds then burst out laughing. A little louder than he was comfortable, she said, “Oh my god, you think I’m a hooker?” And continued laughing. Victor flushed red with embarrassment and tried to stammer out a response, but she cut him off, “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. Sweetie, just because I’m a little forward it doesn’t mean I’m a working girl. I thought you were cute and I’m a little lonely, that’s all.” Leaning into his ear she places a hand on his thigh and whispered, “I’ll fuck you for free if you’re interested.” His mind is a whirl between the drinks and her advances. When he doesn’t reply she stands up and grabs his hand, “Here. Take me to your room.” His paralysis finally broken, he does just that, letting her lead him to the elevators. Alone, they begin making out as they ascend the twenty floors to his level. When the doors open this time he leads her by the hand to his room, fumbling the key card until it slides in and unlocks the door.

 After putting out the Do Not Disturb sign and locking the door he makes one final effort to get to know her, “Look, before we go further, I need to know your name at least. I’m Vi…”

 She puts her finger to his lips and shushes him, then begins unbuttoning his shirt. “No no. It’s more exciting this way. You’re my sweetie, but you can call me Goddess.” Before he can protest, they resume kissing and stripping each other out of their clothes. Once at the bed she forcefully shoves him onto his back and quickly climbs on top, pinning his arms above his head, and resumes their make out session. He can’t remember the last time he felt so helpless and yet so turned on at the same time. Between that and feeling her wetness slide and grind along his cock, it’s more than he can stand. Despite her leverage, he manages to wrestle free and flip them over, but before he can slide inside of her, she puts her hand on top of his head and gently pushes him down, “Not yet, sweetie. You need to take care of me first.” Understanding her meaning he gladly kisses his way down her body and settles in between her legs. He normally goes slow, gently kissing, teasing and building her up, but she wasn’t having any of that. She grabbed his hair and pulled his face into her. Taking the hint, he stepped up his game and began licking and sucking her in earnest, which caused her to loosen her grip but not let go completely. Based on the moans and other noises she was making he assumed she’s pleased, but any time he tries to vary his pace or slow down, she tightens her grip on him. He takes the hint and keeps going at the same pace, but soon he begins to tire. Despite his desire to please her, his body is failing him, but she isn’t having it. Once again, she tightens her grip and growls, “Naughty boy! I’m so close, don’t you dare stop now, your Goddess is so close!” That was enough to give him a second wind and pick up the pace, but despite that her grip did not loosen. In fact, a few minutes later it tightened, as did her thighs around his head, when she went over the edge and exploded! “Good boy! Don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop!” Trapped as he was, he had little choice so continued pleasing her as best he could. Most women he had been with in the past became sensitive after cumming, some forcibly pushing him away, but not her. A few minutes after her orgasm, when her grip still hadn’t lessened, he began to worry he’d be trapped there forever. His second wind was starting to fade and with it his pace. Luckily, she released him completely and allowed him to rest his head on her thigh as he panted like a dog. Keeping that theme, she stroked his hair and called him her good boy.

 “You need to work on your stamina to better worship your Goddess. I could let you do that to me all night. Guess for now I just need more creative ways to motivate you.” As he laid there resting, hearing the way she spoke was starting to freak him out. Afterall, he had no idea who this woman was and is assuming he’ll never know after he leaves in a couple days. At the same time, he’s never been more turned on! He can’t explain it, but this…Goddess…has him completely enthralled. That’s why instead of ending this, he slides back up her body to kiss her, hoping this time she’ll allow his still hard cock to go where his tongue just was. Instead, she takes him by surprise by easily flipping them so he was on his back again. Another deep kiss and she suddenly gets off him and the bed and goes to grab her handbag. Confused, Victor sits up and watches her get it and return, then pulling out several pieces of rope from the bag. Any spell she may have cast upon him is quickly being broken. No matter how horny he gets, he isn’t going to allow a stranger to tie him up. Best case, she robs him, worst he’s murdered.

 As she moves towards him his senses completely return, “Hey, no, sorry. This has been fun and all, but I don't know you. Hell, I don't even know your name. If you want to come back to bed that would be great, but no ropes. Okay?”

 Pouting, she drops everything on the floor and sits next to him. For the first time she feels him touching his cock. Gently fondling it up and down with feathery touches causing him to gasp and moan and re-establishing her control over him. “I see. So you know me well enough to fuck me, but not to play my games?” Even though he was still convinced his reasoning was sound, that made him feel pretty shitty. But those feelings, and his resolve, began to evaporate when he nibbled his ear and whispered, “Besides I guarantee you’ll have the best night of your life. I’ll fuck you harder than you can imagine.”

 Between the promises and the teasing of his cock, he almost gave in, but at the last moment his rational mind nudged him just enough, “Damn, that sounds amazing, but I can’t.”

 Seemingly defeated, she stops everything and leaves the bed, grabbing her clothes. Victor immediately feels a pang of regret, knowing he blew a possibly mind-blowing evening, but also knows he may be dodging a lifesaving bullet at the same time. He had never been one to throw caution to the wind, and while this seems like the perfect time to start, he still can’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he just sits there speechless with a raging erection, watching her put her panties and bra back on. She pauses and asks, “Before I go, tell me what you’re so afraid of?”

 Feeling a bit ridiculous, he tells her, “Well, you know, I don’t want to get robbed or anything like that. I’ve heard stories…”

 That caused her to smirk, “Stories, huh? You think I’m going to grab your wallet or your kidney and take off?” Well shit, he didn’t even think about organ harvesting! Not noticing his renewed panic, she went back into her handbag, fished something out, and brought it over to him. “Here. Put this and anything you want to protect in your safe. It has my ID, credit cards, and money. But no peeking! Do that and then can we go back to having some fun?” After doing some quick mental gymnastics it seemed like a good compromise and gave him some confidence, she wasn’t going to take advantage of him in a way he wouldn’t like. He took her large wallet and then grabbed his own and any expensive items he had and put them in the room’s safe. He set the code, locked it, and went back to her. “Feel better now?”

 He actually did. “Yeah, I think so. Sorry, I just…” she interrupted him with another kiss, guiding him back to the bed. Once there he didn’t protest when she tied one of the ropes around his wrist and then down to the leg of the bed. He allowed her to do the same with his other three limbs, feeling a mixed rush of fear and excitement.

 He tested her handiwork and found he was truly helpless as she stood at the foot of the bed, enjoying his struggles. “Just one last finishing touch.” She slipped out of her underwear and walked over to his side, “Open wide.” Confused, he did as she said and was rewarded with her panties shoved deep into his mouth, almost causing him to gag. She smiled, “There, perfect. Now to get those kidneys!” His eyes went wide as she lunged to his sides, but instead of cutting she began tickling him, causing him to wail into the gag. She laughed along with him, “Silly boy.” She settled next to him on the bed and moved her hands back to his cock, stroking him softly, “Making me work so hard just to give you pleasure. I was going to wring out every drop of cum you have tonight, but now I think you might need to be punished. I might not even let you cum at all! Either way, I’ll keep my promise. This is going to be the best night of your life and you’re definitely getting fucked hard one way or the other. But for now, just relax and enjoy yourself.” Not having any choice, he followed her suggestion as she rested her head on his chest and slowly toyed with his cock, driving him crazy with desire. He had no concept of how much time had passed as he moaned at the pleasurable sensations she was inflicting upon him, but soon he was ready for more. No, he needed more, so his moans gradually turned into whines and then pleading through the gag. Bringing her head back to his ear she whispered, “Poor sweetie. I’ll bet you wish I was riding this cock right now, don’t you?” He nodded enthusiastically. “Tsk tsk, no one to blame but yourself. If you weren’t so stubborn you’d be so deep inside of me right now, feeling my pussy milk out all your cum. But that’s only for good boys. Bad boys get teased.” She blew in his ear and picked up her pace, bringing him right to the edge but letting go before he could cum, giggling at his frustrated and disappointed whines. After a short break she edged him again, and then again. Each time he was certain he was about to orgasm and each time he was proven wrong and cruelly denied. After the tenth edge he lost count, or maybe he forgot what came after ten, he only knew it wasn’t him! Eventually she stopped and pulled the panties out of his mouth. He immediately began begging for relief, but she shushed him, “Hush now, sweetie. I didn’t take them out so you could speak. I want to feel your tongue again. Please your Goddess and maybe she’ll do the same for you.”

 Without another word she climbed on top of him, straddling his head, and facing the headboard. Right before she lowered herself, she stared down into his eyes, “I think you’ll be better motivated this time,” then winked and settled down onto his waiting mouth. Learning from earlier, Victor didn’t waste any time and dove right in, much to her delight. Between the teasing and feeling so powerless underneath her, he found himself with an excess of sexual energy that he poured into pleasing her. Unlike earlier, he managed to keep up a steady pace until she climaxed on top of him. Gripping the headboard tightly, she grinded on his face, enjoying the release. Since Victor is such a quick learner, he knew not to stop or even slow down and continued licking away. “Good sweetie, don’t stop!” As a reward she let go of the headboard and leaned back slightly so she could reach his cock. With a firm grip she slowly stroked him, spurring him on to continue licking. It was enough encouragement for him to give her a second orgasm, but even a lust fueled body has limits and he reached his. Wanting more, but realizing she wasn’t going to get it, she slid off his face and back to his side. With her hand back on his cock, teasing him gently, she gave him a kiss and praised him, “Mmmmm, that was nice, but I still think you can do better.”

 Aside from his moans, they laid in silence as she came down from her high. Sometime later she wordlessly got off the bed to retrieve her underwear and placed them back in his mouth. Confused and a little concerned, he watched her go over to the closet and fiddle with the safe, testing the door. Back at his side in bed, she stroked him more aggressively. Quickly getting him to the edge and then holding him there as closely as she could. “I have a little confession to make. You were right to be worried about being tied up.” His eyes went wide with fear. “I’m not going to hurt you, or rob you, technically. But eventually you are going to give me the combo to the safe. That is, if you want to cum you will. Until then, I’m going to keep you just like this. Teetering on the edge. So close you think you’ll go insane. You won't, though. You also won’t cum unless I want you to. I’m too good at this to make mistakes.”

 He began shouting and screaming obscenities at her, though through the makeshift gag not much was coming out. “Silly boy. Yelling won’t save you. No one can hear you to come to your rescue. If you do manage to get too loud, I’ll just sit on your face again. You’re all mine tonight. If you give in now, I promise I’ll ride your cock until you’re empty. What do you say?” More angry, muffled noises as he shook his head no. As tempting as she was, he wasn’t going to give up everything he had with him for one measly orgasm. Afterall, she can’t keep him here forever, right? She shrugged, “Suit yourself. We’ll see how you feel in a few hours.”

 For the next thirty minutes she kept him as close to the edge as she could. Despite his struggles, hip thrusts, moans, wines, or begging, nothing he did could push himself or convince her to push him over the edge. He was starting to think none of this was worth it, but quickly pushed those thoughts away. As if reading his mind she asked, “Ready to give in yet? My offer still stands. Still plenty of night left for fucking instead of this.” This time he hesitated for just a few seconds before he shook his head no again. She smirked seeing that hesitation and knowing she would break him eventually. “That’s okay. Like I said, plenty of night left and I have no place else to be.” She was also a quick study and knew she could push him slightly closer without fear of any accidents, so did just that and continued holding him there.

 This caused Victor to begin rationalizing how giving in wouldn’t be the end of the world. He didn’t have that much cash on him and the cards could be canceled. She’d leave his phone, right? But even that was replaceable. Of course, none of that mattered since he was gagged and helpless to stop her. It was only another thirty minutes later when she again asked if he’d had enough, though to him it felt like thirty hours! Her teasing didn’t let up when she asked so it took him a moment to realize she was offering a lifeline from drowning in lust. He was ready to give in, but she took his hesitation as resistance, “Tell you what, just give me the first number and I’ll let you rest for a bit. Deal? What good is one number when I need four, right?” To help convince him she pushed him ever so slightly closer. Finally aware of what was happening he quickly nodded his head and began screaming the number out, causing her to laugh as she pulled the underwear out of his mouth.

 “Eight! Eight! The first number is eight! Fuck, please let me cum! Please!”

 Instead of an orgasm she let go of him completely and went to the desk to jot the number down on a notepad. This allowed Victor to gather his wits enough to convince himself he can’t give in and was stupid to even give her one number. He vowed to himself no more. She can’t do this forever, right? As she approached the bed, he was about to beg for mercy but she shushed him quickly, “Relax, sweetie. I’m giving your cock a break just like I promised. Your tongue on the other hand…”

 As she climbed onto the bed he protested, “You’re crazy! Why the hell should I do that for you! No way.”

 Straddling his head she gave him an ultimatum, “Well I could just go back to teasing you then if you don’t want the break. Or I could smack your balls for a bit to convince you. I don’t enjoy causing pain, but if you’re going to be difficult…” Realizing he had little choice he submitted and once again did his best to please her with his mouth. Fortunately for him she was satisfied with the one orgasm, but unfortunately that also meant the gag was back in his mouth and she was back in her teasing position.

 The rest of the night was more of the same. She kept him on edge for as close and as long as she could, checking in every half hour for him to give in and amazed when he refused. She was certain he was on the verge of breaking earlier, but still wasn’t too concerned. It was only a matter of time and this way was far more enjoyable. After an hour and a half she bartered the second number, six, and another face riding orgasm.

 Victor cursed himself for breaking his promise, but again with mental gymnastics told himself it was fine. As long as he didn’t give out the fourth number he was just stalling for time. Waiting for the help that he irrationally was convinced was coming. He told himself that he was playing her and not the obvious opposite.

 Realizing she needed to step up her game, she slid down between his legs and used her mouth to continue driving him insane. She had to be much more careful and couldn’t bring him as close as before, but the new sensations had the desired effect. Alternating between licks up and down the length and planting little kisses and sucks, paying special attention to the head, but never putting him in her mouth was causing him to continuously squirm and beg for more. It took her a moment to realize she forgot to gag him again, but he was too far gone to even consider calling for help. Besides, hearing him beg was much more appealing than the muffled moans. Once she felt he was primed enough she let just the head slide in and out of her mouth a few times, giving them both a taste, then taunted, “You know I could deep throat you if I wanted. I could slide every inch of your cock into my mouth. Would you like that, sweetie?”

 “Oh yes, fuck, god, yes please!” he continued rambling, much to her delight.

 “Well, all you ha…”

 To her surprise he cut her off, “Seven! Seven! Fuck, please suck me! Please let me cum!” She ignored his whining as she got up to write down the third digit. While she was thrilled victory was almost at hand, she was also a little disappointed the game was almost over.

 Back between his legs she gave his head a few more kisses then warned him, “Keep your hips still, sweetie. If you thrust into my mouth you’ll make me angry and I don’t think you’ll want that in your current position.” With slight fear he nodded and used his remaining willpower to keep still as she excruciatingly slowly slid him into her mouth and down her throat. In and out, over and over. It wasn’t long before he knew he was lost, He was prepared to not only give her the final number, but access to his bank account if she asked. Anything if she would finally just let him cum! In the meantime, his brain was too fried and he could only babble incoherently, with an occasional “please” and “cum” the only words she could make out.

 Growing tired and noticing the sky outside was getting slightly brighter, she stopped sucking and sighed, knowing it was time to wrap this up. She crawled up the desperate man’s body, ensuring to avoid touching his frustrated cock, and stopped his babbling by giving him a deep kiss which he eagerly returned. After a few moments she broke it off, “Okay sweetie, I have to go soon. I want to feel your big, hard cock inside me sooo bad, but you know what you have to give me first, don’t you?” With a sad, desperate look he quietly nodded. “That’s my good boy. Give me the last number and I promise to give you a good fucking.”

 Weakly, he gave in, “Five. It’s five. Please fuck me and make me cum. Please!”

 After a big smile and a bigger kiss, she got off the bed, grabbed her handbag, and went to the safe to try the code. Rewarded with a whirr it unlocked and she went through its contents, first retrieving her own wallet then going through everything else he placed inside. Once satisfied, she came back to the bed, but not before finding her underwear and putting it back in his mouth. “Well, Victor, thank you very much.” She then pulled another item from her bag, “Since I’m a woman of my word, I’m going to fuck you now. Just like before, you’re not allowed to move your hips. I don’t want my ride to end too soon, got it sweetie?”

 He was beyond any shame or caring, he only wanted one thing no matter the cost! Nodding vigorously, he let loose a stream of muffled begging.

 She laughed, “Poor sweetie. So desperate.” Climbing back on the bed, she straddled him and he watched in rapt attention as she positioned his cock and very slowly slid him inside. His head fell back on the pillow as his eyes rolled back even further. This was a bliss he never felt before. It was even better than his first time those many years ago. But when nothing else happened he looked back up just in time to see her holding a small cylindrical device, flip a switch, and press it against herself. It was immediately apparent that it was a small bullet vibrator. She moaned in pleasure as the vibrations flowed through her and into his cock, as she slowly grinded against him. Of course, it wasn’t enough to push him over the edge despite how extremely worked up he was. However, it was more than enough to give her yet another orgasm at his expense. As she came she involuntarily hopped up and down a few times, giving him enough sensation to bring him close. Unable to resist any longer he began thrusting into her. Not only did she not care he broke his promise, but she was enjoying it. “Oh yes, sweetie, fuck me! Fuck your Goddess!” Thrilled this was finally it, he went faster. Just a few more seconds he knew he would explode, and apparently she did as well as she abruptly raised herself off of him, leaving him thrusting and fucking nothing but air. Like a banshee he screamed through the gag. She can’t possibly be this cruel! She’s taken everything from him and she promised. She promised!

 Ignoring his desperate, muffled pleas and without a word she left the bed and went to the bathroom. Moments later he heard the shower running. Helplessly he did his best to relax, and much to his surprise fell asleep, exhausted from the night’s activities.

 And this is where we first found Victor. After holding him on the edge for a few moments she stopped and picked up the vibrator she was using earlier. With some more small pieces of rope from her bag, she lined it up along the top of his shaft, not the sensitive underside, and tied it in place, then turned it on the lowest setting. “There, that should keep you entertained until the maid finds you and hopefully will avoid any mess for her to clean up.” She giggled at her comment then gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Victor, sweetie, you were amazing. I have your address, maybe I’ll surprise you one day! For now you can keep my panties as a souvenir from your trip. Something to remember me by. Just remember, I promised to fuck you, and I’d say you’re pretty well fucked right now, wouldn’t you? Take care!” And with that she got up and went to the door, once again ignoring his screams and pleading. As she went out the door she ensured she switched the sign from “Do Not Disturb” to “Please Service Room.” Blowing him a final kiss the door was closed and he was alone with a vibrator doing its best to keep him hard and little else.

 Humiliated, defeated, and horny beyond belief, Victor could only lay there and wait, wondering what he’s going to say to the poor person who finds him. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait too long when he heard a knock at the door and a voice call out, “Housekeeping.” He froze, ready to die from embarrassment. When the door opened and they locked eyes she yelled, “Ah fuck!” Then sighed, “Jesus, I don’t get paid enough for this. Do you need help, sir, or is this some game?” Flushed red with embarrassment he did his best to get her to help. Hesitantly, she came over to him and removed the underwear from his mouth, quickly dropping it to the floor in disgust.

 “Thank you, sorry. Please untie me? I was robbed. Please?”

 She began untying his right wrist and couldn’t help but ask, “Why did they strip you and put that, uh, thing on your, uh, thing?” Once his wrist was free, Victor quickly untied the other one, “You know what, never mind. I’ll just come back later.” Before he could say anything she was gone and the door closed again.

 Once his hands were free, he pulled the vibrator off his cock and flung it to the floor. Ignoring his sexual frustration and desperation, he untied his legs and ran over to the open safe before calling 911. What he saw caused him to freeze. Everything was there. His wallet, phone, watch…everything! Going through his wallet he had all of his cash, cards, and identification. The only thing different was a note that wasn’t there before:

 “Dearest sweetie Victor,

 Last night was AMAZING! I hope you didn’t have your way with the maid or hurt yourself jerking off! If you can wait I’ll make it worth your while tonight. Maybe I’ll let you tie me up this time! Give me a call.

 Kisses,

Your Goddess, Angela”

 It was followed by her phone number and a red kiss mark. He stared at the note and reread it a dozen times. Still in disbelief he set it down in the safe and went back to bed. The overpowering urge to masturbate faded enough where the need to sleep was more powerful. He decided to nap and save it for Angela later. He dozed and dreamed of the dirty things he would do to her in retaliation.